How They Meditate – S.N. Goenka (Guided Meditation)
September 13, 2026
How They Meditate – Ajahn Brahm
September 19, 2026
Last Updated on September 14, 2026 by Matthew Sockolov
Meditation is often associated with relaxation, but sometimes meditation simply isn’t relaxing. In fact, research finds that stress-reduction is consistently one of the top reasons people come to meditation practice. It’s quite common to look for relaxation, but what do we do when meditation just feels tense?
We’ll cover the types of meditation that generally promote relaxation, how meditation can become tense, and some tips for relaxing. Remember we cannot force relaxation, we have to soften into it!
Understanding Relaxation and Meditation
Before getting into cultivating relaxation or working with tension, we have to consider the type of meditation. There are many types of meditation, and some are focused more on relaxation than others. For example, samatha practice is calming by nature. But open awareness is about observing experience, not relaxing.
Samatha Practice
Samatha meditation is what many people think of when they think of Buddhist meditation. This is the practice of collecting the attention onto a single object of awareness. It’s concentrative meditation, often done with attention resting on the breath in the body.
Although relaxation isn’t the exact goal of samatha practice, it is part of it. Collecting the mind results in experiences of joy and tranquility. Perhaps we don’t have this experience at first, but consistent practice can lead to serene and relaxing states. It goes both ways. We need to release the tension in order to collect the mind, and collecting the mind relieves tension.
Relaxing in the Body
There are many techniques for cultivating relaxation in the body. These practices are specifically intended to help encourage calm and ease. But we cannot force it (more on this below). Instead, we soften and make space for relaxation rather than trying to effort our way into it.
One of my favorite ways to invite relaxation into the body is through the body scan meditation. Although we traditionally do this by just observing whatever is arising in the body, we can actually make it a process of relaxation. Below is an example of this in a relaxing body scan.
General Mindfulness
When many people think of mindfulness practice, they make think of relaxation. But that really is not the purpose of meditation in this way. Mindfulness aims to observe whatever is present and to build insight and understanding. If relaxation is present, we bring awareness to it. If there is no relaxing feeling, we also bring awareness to it.
I mention this because it’s important to remember that tension or a lack of relaxation might be a part of any meditation. In mindfulness or vipassana practice, we are called to observe the experience, whether it is relaxing or not. And if we are striving for relaxation, we can know that as well.
The Heart Practices
The heart practices, or brahma-viharas, are another type of meditation. These practices are not necessarily calming in their primary function, but they are forms of samatha practice as well. While cultivating these qualities, relaxation and ease may come as a by-product of the collected mind. I talk about this more in this post about metta as a concentration practice.
Why Meditation Can Be Tense
The truth is that meditation is simply not always relaxing. Sometimes it is tense. We shouldn’t necessarily seek to change this, as much as bring awareness to it. We’ll cover that more below in the tips for relaxing during meditation.
The tension in meditation actually generally comes from our own bodies and minds. We strive and strain in various ways during meditation. Common forms of this tension include:
- Trying to meditate “correctly”
- Resisting the thinking experience
- Striving for a particular mental state or experience
- Subtle physical tension
- Sitting still through pain and discomfort
We Cannot Force Relaxation
Before getting into the tips for relaxing, it’s crucial to recognize we cannot force relaxation or ease during meditation. By trying to force relaxation, we actually grow tense in doing so. We need to learn to soften into relaxation without straining. To do this, it can be useful to notice the straining when it arises.
This may feel different for different people. You may notice physical tension when straining, such as a tight jaw, stiff neck/shoulders, or forced breathing. You also may notice a feeling in the mind of tension, resistance, or craving. For me, this often comes up as a focus on the state or experience I am aiming for, rather than awareness of the present-time experience.
Tips for Relaxing During Meditation
So how do we relax exactly during meditation? Here are a few tips that you might investigate to see how they serve you. As always with meditation tips, take what you need and leave the rest.
Reflect Before Meditating
This is something many of teachers of mine have encouraged over the years, but doesn’t seem to be a popular practice in the West. When you sit down to meditate, take a moment to reflect on what brings you to meditation. You don’t need to set an intention; just connect with the intention you have. What brings you to practice today?
Meditation can become mechanical. We do it because it’s simply what we do every day. Pausing to reflect on why we are practicing can help give us a wholesome motivation for practice. This connection with the motivation can help fuel practice, easing the need for effort and straining.
Find the Right Posture
This is a key part of relaxing during meditation. There are many meditation positions you can take. Don’t get stuck on one perfect posture. You can meditate sitting, lying down, walking, or standing. We can get stuck on a “correct” posture, and actually create tension in the body from the beginning of our practice.
I encourage you to investigate the posture of the body when you practice. Can you sit in a way that feels conducive to you? I like to invite in alertness with each inhale, and relaxation with each exhale. Make any minor adjustments you need to. Find a posture that is comfortable; make the body a comfortable place to be!
Start by Relaxing the Body
I often start my practice in the morning with a few minutes of qigong. Others prefer yoga before meditation. Maybe you can stretch before practicing. Whatever you do, consider actually inviting in relaxation before you even start meditating. This can both calm the mind and body before sitting.
When you do go to meditate, start by relaxing the body. Below is a practice from our 10 Minute Meditations you can investigate. If you’re hoping to cultivate some ease in your practice, you might begin any meditation period with a few minutes of practice in this way. Again, you can’t force relaxation, but you can train the mind and body to be inclined toward it.
Try to Let the Body Breathe
One place many people get stuck is in simply allowing the body to breathe itself. As soon as we tune into the breath, habit energies arise and we want to control it. This effort can cause tension, even if it’s subtle at first. Instead, we can work toward just observing the breath rather than controlling it.
This can be difficult to do for some, and that’s okay. You might try relaxing the abdomen, softening the jaw, and reminding yourself that the body breathes itself all day long. If it’s just too difficult to let go of control, you might try shifting awareness to somewhere else in the body.
Practice Comfort Over “Perfection”
Give yourself some permission to be comfortable and let go of any idea of “perfect” meditation you have. You might mindfully adjust your posture when something hurts, use a chair, or get up and walk. “Good” meditation doesn’t mean a still body or creating suffering.
Seek to find a way to practice that is comfortable and stable. Pay attention to your own experience in the mind and body. What feels useful? What happens to the mind and body when you relax the abdomen or shoulders? What does it feel like to adjust your posture and relieve the pain?
Recognize Where Tension Arises
When we do experience tension, what happens? How does the mind respond to tension in the body and mind? We can practice some awareness of awareness itself. This may seem abstract at first, but you can investigate it for yourself. When there’s some tension in the mind or body, we can get stuck focusing on the tension itself. We don’t notice that we’re meeting the tension with more tension, feeding it unknowingly.
There are many things to focus on during meditation, and awareness itself is one of them. Watch how the mind responds in these moments. By watching awareness itself, we can keep the mind from adding further tension or resistance. This allows us to meet experience with a relaxed awareness and more understanding.
Allow Space for Thoughts
A lot of the experience during meditation that creates tension is trying to block negative thoughts or thinking altogether. Instead of growing frustrated or agitated when the mind is thinking, we can learn to observe thoughts without judgement. We train the mind to see thoughts as just another object, or something worth observing like anything else.
We talked about this in our Thursday Morning Meditation. Below is the recording of both the meditation and the talk, covering how we can meet the mind and its habit of thinking with mindfulness and acceptance. Practicing in this way allows us to find relaxation even when the mind is active.
Use Interest
Burmese monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya teaches his students that interest can be a great substitute for effort. Rather than putting a ton of effort forth and creating tension in our practice, we can use interest and curiosity. Practicing with interest gives the mind some fuel and energy without the straining.
Have you ever found yourself deeply interested in something in a way that just sucks you in? It doesn’t require energy or effort to stay with the experience. You want to be there. It creates an experience that is both relaxed and engaged, exactly what we’re going for in meditation. In your practice, look for where interest arises naturally, and follow it.
Get Up and Walk
As mentioned when discussing posture, don’t get stuck on any one way to meditate! There are many ways to practice moving meditation. One of my go-to’s is walking meditation. It can be useful when we are tired in meditation, or when we have too much tension and need to relax. Sometimes getting up and moving can help us release that extra energy.
Below is a short guided walking meditation from our playlist Mindfulness for Beginners. This is a great practice that can really invite in some relaxation in the body. You might give it a shot, and try sitting afterward!
Work Toward Samadhi Patiently
When we’re cultivating the quality of samadhi, it’s important to have patience. We can’t force our way into a collected and tranquil mind. Be patient with yourself, and keep at it. We all have periods of meditation in which there is more relaxation than others. Some days you may find a collected mind, and others day not so much. Don’t judge your practice or be in too much of a rush.
